Contaminated Love
by heartstrings13
Summary: "You left me." "You chose my best friend over me." "I will never forget you." "I will never remember you." "I will never forgive you." "I can never blame you."... but they were madly in love, and so badly hurt. Would their love be able to heal their wounds? Bella X Bonnie.
1. Breathe no more

**_Disclaimer: The characters belong to their original owners only. Though the story is mine. _**

**_The song used in here is Breathe no more by Evanescence._**

**_A/N: My new story. Takes place after Edward leaves Bella, and Damon chooses Elena over Bonnie._**

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**_Breathe no more_**

.  
.

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long.__  
__That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.__  
__All the little pieces falling, shatter.__  
__Shards of me,__  
__Too sharp to put back together.__  
__Too small to matter,__  
__But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.__  
__If I try to touch her,__  
__And I bleed,__  
__I bleed,__  
__And I breathe,__  
__I breathe no more._

Bella:

I was feeling like every ounce of happiness was being sucked out of me brutally. I was feeling so hollow n empty. I was torn. I wanted to get away as far away as I can but I couldn't move my limbs as if they're out of my control.

So I am here, still here. Looking at all these things that reminds of love or I should say that what I thought to be love but was nothing but a girl's naive idea of affection. I am feeling devastated, so broke, but most of all I am angry. So very angry on everyone n everything. Every little bit of memoirs that remind me of that happy time I want to forget I want it to vanish from my memory, because it's killing me inside. Its teasing me taunting me to do something... Something. But I can't cause I am too numb to move or to do anything. It's shutting down something in me that may be I will never be able to bring back.

I'm shutting down shutting down forever.

_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.__  
__Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.__  
__Lie to me,__  
__Convince me that I've been sick forever.__  
__And all of this,__  
__Will make sense when I get better.__  
__But I know the difference,__  
__Between myself and my reflection.__  
__I just can't help but to wonder,__  
__Which of us do you love._

Bonnie:

Far away a girl was packing her stuff, everything that has ever meant anything to her. She was throwing her clothes in the bags haphazardly as if she can't do it any faster. She wanted to get away from here so far away that nobody could ever find her ever. She wanted to forget everything that happened here in this god awful place that is regretfully her hometown also. She grew up here her home is here or so she thought but its not the truth she don't belong here. Not with these people who claimed to love her well now she knows better. Nobody loves her or needs her here. So she's leaving forever. She's going to someone who really loves her who is in dire need of her and so is she. She kept her tears at bay until all her stuff was packed, once the last bag was zipped and was loaded in her car. She lost it. She broke down in middle of her now empty room. She cried for hours until all her tears were dried up. Then she picked herself up. She wiped away all the remaining tears, took a deep breath and then picked up her mobile phone and texted someone just 4 words: 'I am coming back.'

_So I bleed,__  
__I bleed,__  
__And I breathe,__  
__I breathe no...__  
__Bleed,__  
__I bleed,__  
__And I breathe,__  
__I breathe,__  
__I breathe-__  
__I breathe no more._

.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. please leave your reviews. **


	2. Going Under

**_A/N: Thanks a lot for all your reviews and support, this means a lot to me. Also thank you for adding my story to your favourite/alert list. So this is the next chapter, enjoy._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, only the story is mine._**

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**_Going Under~~~~_**

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you -__  
__50 thousand tears I've cried.__  
__Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -__  
__And you still won't hear me__  
__Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.__  
__Maybe I'll wake up for once__  
__Not tormented daily defeated by you__  
__Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom_

BPOV  
It's dark and so very dense. I can't come out of it and truly speaking, I don't want to come out. And in a way it's good that I'm stuck here, as I don't want to move anywhere. Why would I? What is there left?

Nothing... Just nothing No one. No life. Nothing.

Its so hard to breathe and sometimes I really don't get it, why am I still breathing?

Oh yeah of course because I promised him that I'll not do anything reckless or dangerous and will try to keep myself safe. Safe as if I even want to live after he had gone. But surprise- I AM STILL ALIVE.

What an irony!

I was happy well not happy as if you can be happy with a flighty mother and her ever growing parade of partners but at least I was content in my life. I was a shy and introvert girl with my books and music. I had a few friends here n there but no one very close because I've always thought I don't belong to the category of 'normal hormonal teens' so I was living my life the best way I know. Then one day he came into my life.

_I dive again._

_I'm going under _

_Drowning in you…_

…

My prince charming.

My own personal brand of heroine as he used to call me. He was everything a girl could ask in a boyfriend. He was caring, loving, possessive, which I sometimes hated too much, fiercely protective and on top of it freakishly handsome. Well calling him just handsome will not work he was a walking, living Greek God.

And he wanted me. Me, a simple plain girl. I never understood his reasoning for loving me... No he never loved me. May be liked me but not love because then it wouldn't have been so easy for him to just up and went. But he always used to say that I don't look at myself clearly, as if there is anything to look at. He swept me off my feet with so much affection and attention which is dangerous for a quiet girl like me who never got a second glance from anyone and never from anyone who is as gorgeous and smart as he was. I was dazzled like any other girl would have and so I enjoyed each n every minute with him cos I knew it will not last.

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.__  
__So I don't know what's real__  
__So I don't know what's real and what's not __  
__Always confusing the thoughts in my head__  
__So I can't trust myself anymore_

There was nothing much in me that will keep his interest for long. So I live in a happy bubble with him. He make me feel things that I never would have thought possible. He showed me and took me to a world that I never knew existed. I was thriving in its glory. I felt like I was living, truly living I felt Alive. And most of all I was happy. So damn Happy. Blissful. Ecstatic.

And one day all was gone. Every single fragment of happiness, love, Life was gone. He left. And not only left he made me realize my biggest mistake. He made my biggest insecurity a reality. He told me he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't want me anymore. As if I was nothing to him but just a mere weak human who was good for sometime as entertainment and when time came to move on he merely tossed me aside. As if I am nothing, no one. And well if I think from his perspective its true.

I AM NO ONE.

Not beautiful or smart.

So I let him go because I knew there was nothing I could have do.

_So go on and scream__  
__Scream at me I'm so far away__  
__I won't be broken again__  
__I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under_

I could have begged which I did. I could have groveled at his feet for keeping me but it was of no use. He was bored of me. He was done. He wanted distractions, other much more interesting distractions. So I let him go. He wanted a promise that I'll take care of myself that I did because truly I can't deny him anything by that point and in return he told me I'll never meet him again as if he never existed. Before he was even finished I know I lost everything. Because by then I didn't knew how to live without him. But I didn't stop him as he took that right from me. He didn't belong to me. He was not mine but in my heart I knew I was just his and will always remain like that.

He left and took with himself my heart and soul too…Forever.

_I dive again_

I'm going under

_Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through_

_I'm going under…_

**_A/N:__ Thank you all for reading:)_**


	3. Fighter

_**A/N: Review replies-**_

_***paulswolfgirl2355 : Thank you so much for the review and see I've updated soon. :)**_

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_****PS: hope you'll like this chapter too.****_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, obviously...**_

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_**Bonnie pov**_

"_After all that you put me through,_

_You think I'd despise you,_

_But in the end I wanna thank you,_

_'Cause you've made me that much stronger"_

I left. I left everything behind. Every pain, every heartache, every failure, just about everything behind in that town once and for all. I would never return, not willingly at least. And if I say so myself I am a little relieved. Relieved because now I won't have to see them frolicking around. *snort* I don't have to see them every single day, dancing over the broken pieces of my heart. My heart that was so easily n so nonchalantly broken by them or more specifically Him. He crushed it as if it was just a loose paper that he used and then threw it in the trash.

He chose Elena, my best freaking friend, my oldest friend. And while doing so he killed me, almost killed me.

"_Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true_

_Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up_

_'Cause I've had enough_

_You were there by my side, always down for the ride_

_But your joy ride just came down in flames 'cause your greed sold me out in shame"_

Not just figuratively, but he literally left me to fend for myself when I was lying in the forest all battered, bruised, wounded and God damn it still bleeding. Instead of taking care of me, he left to be with Elena without giving me a backward glance. He was the one who asked me to help them to save her, again. And I being a girl in love I readily agreed while knowing well that it can cost me my freaking life. But no! I had help them, Him. Why? Because I can't see him so distressed and helpless. And what did I get in return? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I was forgotten just like that. And that was my trigger of ENOUGH. Just enough. While my life was sweeping away from my body he was with her consoling her, as always, cos she was left shaken n she needs his reassurance and concerned self to hold her while she clung to him. And the most intriguing part in all this fiasco is She has a god damn BOYFRIEND for all this but she needs Him.

Freaking Damon.

"_Makes me that much stronger_

_Makes me work a little bit harder_

_It makes me that much wiser_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

_Made me learn a little bit faster_

_Made my skin a little bit thicker_

_Makes me that much smarter_

_So thanks for making me a fighter"_

I was naive enough to think that he cares about me. Gah! I am so stupid. But it ends just here and now. That day I lost it. I promised myself if I survived I'll leave all this behind and move forward. I am a strong, independent and beautiful confident girl. I won't stop my life for some idea of unrequited love for someone for whom I am just someone who he wants no...he needs for saving the love of his life. I owed at least this much to myself.

"_After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you_

_But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong_

_'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know_

_Just how capable I am to pull through_

_So I wanna say thank you"_

I was praying for someone to save me. And then it happened. My savior came in the form of . She saved me that day. She cared for me, tend to me. While my whole gang of friends were trying to comfort Elena and each other. I felt so lonely and so violated, so used. I vowed to myself as soon as I got my strength back. I am leaving.

"_Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing_

_Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I'd realize your game_

_I heard you're going round playing the victim now_

_But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame_

_'Cause you dug your own grave_

_After all of the fights and the lies 'cause you're wanting to haunt me_

_But that won't work anymore, no more,_

_It's over…"_

And to my great relief I got well soon. During my whole recovering process, they tried to meet me once or may be twice. They tried calling me, came by my house.

But I never paid them any attention. Why should I? When I needed them, they abandoned me, and now it's my turn to forget them. It's my turn to move forward. And I will do just that. I will start a new life. A new start in a new town, but with someone who knows me who loves me and who have accepted me for who I am.

"_'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture_

_I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down_

_So I wanna say thank you"_

I am moving towards a better future, I am not ashamed to say that I really need her to make me feel that I am important too. That someone loves me for who I am, and not for what I can do.

"_I am a fighter and I_

_I ain't gonna stop_

_There is no turning back_

_I've had enough"_

So now I am leaving my past in that town behind along with its inhabitants. I know they don't care. Not even for a sec. And now I won't care too. Now I am moving towards a better future, to a better place. I am going to someone who has never judged me.

I am going to my family. We are not blood related but we are connected through souls. We are more than sisters. We are soul sisters. And now when i am at my lowest I need my sister. And I've a feeling that she needs me too.

I just know it.

"_You thought I would forget_

_But I remembered_

_'Cause I remembered_

_I remembered_

_You thought I would forget_

_I remembered_

_'Cause I remembered_

_I remembered"_

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**_A/N: Thank you all once againg for loving this fiction...:):):)_**


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